Heartstring Emotion

There are so many moments in life that will pull our heartstrings and waken our senses. Good times, scary times, happy times, sad times, tragic times, hard times, special times. These are the moments I find myself pondering as I look back in my life. I find it fascinating that somehow my mind looks back on most of these moments with a sense of nostalgia. Why is it that even the sad and hard times leave me almost yearning to go back? Maybe because even the hardest times turn out to be bittersweet.

The fall season has always been one of my favorite times of year, I think it triggers a sense of nostalgia in most. The changing color and falling of leaves along with spicy candles, pumpkin and apple goodness is bound to produce warm and fuzzy feelings from past times. Since Emma was born in the fall, naturally, the resulting emotion and feelings I experience now are quite different from before. At times I find myself yearning to go back to an easier time, when I was just a wife and mom-normal. At times I find myself yearning to go back to a time when 95% of my focus was on Madison. I think the oldest child will always go through change when siblings are born, but hers was intense and has never stopped. It's impossible to describe the way that pulls on my heartstrings. Sometimes, I relive the special moments of when Emma was born through this time of year. We had such amazing support from family and friends while Emma was in the NICU. The visits, letters, phone calls, and help are memories I hold very near and dear to my heart. Jeff and I were puddles on the floor as we faced losing a child in addition to a surprise diagnosis of Down syndrome. We were literally carried through by the support from others and it has lived on to this very day. We've received presents and care packages, a lot from complete strangers. Wonderful people have cleaned our home and brought us meals. Selfless people have helped ease the financial burden we face. Not only through Emma's benefit fair, but also through anonymous donors. The support we receive is leaving impressions on our heartstrings so deep and powerful. I know I will never forget. We all live in a world that can be so depressing, I almost can't watch the news. I feel fortunate to be reminded, constantly, that there are good and amazing people in this world.

I recently found out about an International Down syndrome orphan ministry called Reece's Rainbow, my friend is adopting a little girl through them. Talk about heartstrings. I have spent some time visiting their website and learned so much. Did you know that orphaned children, born with Ds, in other countries are considered outcasts with no ability to learn or be functional members of society? MY HEART, it broke when I read that. Reece's Rainbow also has a sponsorship program where, if you are not in a position to adopt, you can donate money and help a family with their international adoption. After reading about the children waiting to be in a family, I really lost it for a minute. If I could, I would bring them all home with me. Even after everything that we've been through and the enormous impact Emma has on our family. It is amazing, all of it. Like I said, even the hardest of times are bittersweet. Maybe someday, we'll bring one of those angels home with us.

Tomorrow is a day I have been looking forward to since July. I had the privilege of participating in a movie screening at the National Down Syndrome Convention. I watched a documentary film titled "Monica and David", it won best documentary at the Tribeca Film Festival. The film was amazing and left such an impression on me, I laughed and cried through most of the film. Some moments were especially touching for me, some were upsetting. HBO is broadcasting the world debut tomorrow as part of Down syndrome awareness month. This film is full of heartstring emotion. Watch it, seriously.