It was my first time seeing it, and I really liked it. I have always looked up to her in a way that a lot of women probably do. I think she was amazing. Maybe Em's name sort of comes from her. My favorite line in the movie was about strength. Emma, towards the end of her life, told her daughter that strength is not something we have, but something we find. I LOVE that, because it bothers me when people tell me I am so strong. I know I don't feel strong most of the time. I have thought a lot about it today and what it means to me. I discovered that there is strength all around me, I just have to "find" it. Here are some of the things I opened my eyes to today.......
I realized that simple things give me strength. Watching a good movie, reading a good book, listening to a great song. Losing myself in the wonderful blogging world. Through the friend of a friend of a friend searching I realize I am not the only one going through a hard time. That in itself is something I can draw strength from. Then I get to read the amazing things they write. I realized that I find strength when I take time for myself. I find strength through kind actions and words. I think that having something to look forward to gives me strength. The scriptures, of course, so many stories to learn from. Spending time with Jeff, watching my babies sleep. Church, that one is obvious. I am not able to attend as regularly as I want with Emma now, so I know the difference it can make in my life.
I discovered very hard things have also helped me find strength. Asking for help has been one of the hardest things I have EVER done. So many wonderful people in my ward are coming every week to help. Laundry, cleaning, helping with the kids, driving us to Dr. appointments, I am being looked after. It has not been a fun process for me, stripping the pride and dignity away was a slow and painful journey. I am still working on it. With that being said, I am so much stronger than before the sign up sheets started going around at church. I was at a point where I had very little joy left in life, I was crying every day. I was so weighed down that everything was hard. Every day is still hard,with their help though, I am coping better. I am stronger.
I am going to keep looking for the things that will get me through tomorrow and the next day and the next.............................
Lisa
3 comments:
I need to watch that movie sometime. I've heard it's really good. Thanks for the reminder about finding strength. I need to work on it as well. Anytime you need me...call. I can't give you a ride anywhere (no car) but I can hang out or watch the kids. I'll call you so we can discuss "Survivor."
You are strong, you just never see yourself the way the rest of us do.
Ooo, I wanted to see that one; I didn't know it was out yet! That IS a really neat quote, I had never thought of that before. Thanks for sharing your thoughts; you're awesome :) One day at a time, right?
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